Balancing Ambition and Surrender: Living in the Question

Lately, I felt caught between two opposing forces: relentless ambition and a deep desire for presence and flow.

On one side, I had a structured roadmap for success — one that felt like certainty, like security. I set ambitious goals, worked tirelessly, and chased every milestone with intensity. On the other side, I kept encountering ideas from the spiritual world that challenged my thinking: surrender, trust, ease. The less you try, the more happens. What you seek is seeking you. These concepts fascinated me but also frustrated me — how could I trust and let go while still moving forward? Was it possible to be deeply ambitious while also embracing flow and surrender?

I struggled with this tension for years. My structured, goal-oriented mind wanted to plan everything, but I started noticing that some of the greatest things in my life had happened when I wasn’t in control. The opportunities I could have never planned. The people I met in ways I couldn’t have predicted. The times when things fell apart — only to lead me to something even better.

And yet, despite all that proof, I kept chasing certainty. I thought the next milestone, the next title, the next validation would bring me peace — even though I didn’t know, at the time, that peace was what I truly wanted.

Because no matter how much I accomplished, I had never stopped to ask myself a different, much more important question:

Was I truly building toward something that aligned with who I am and what I value, or was I just chasing success for its own sake?

The Battle: Solving for X vs. Living in the Question

I recently heard a scientist say he doesn’t trust anyone who is “solving for X” — someone who has already decided on the answer they’re looking for and is just working backward to prove it. In contrast, the best scientists explore out of genuine curiosity. They follow the evidence, adapt as they learn, and remain open to unexpected discoveries.

That idea stuck with me. Because for so long, I was unconsciously solving for X in my own life. I was working toward a fixed, final answer — an endpoint where I thought I would finally feel happy.

The problem? There is no final answer. I kept forcing a pre-determined outcome, only to arrive at my goal and think, ‘I should be happy… wasn’t this what I wanted?’ And yet, the feeling never lasted.

Then I had a shift: What if life isn’t about solving for X? What if the key is to live in the question?

And once I realized that, everything changed.

Instead of asking, What’s the next milestone? I started asking:
What is the question I want to spend my life exploring?

And for me, that question became: How do we maximize human potential?

The Power of the One Question

Finding this question allows me to remain ambitious — because I am driven to explore, experiment, and create — but it also keeps me grounded in curiosity and presence. There’s no singular answer, no finish line where I’ll declare the problem solved. Instead, every day, I get to explore different aspects of it:

• Business: How do we build a startup that enhances, rather than drains, human potential for everyone involved?
• Health: How can we optimize our bodies and minds without turning wellness into another rigid performance metric?
• Relationships: How can we cultivate deeper connections that expand what’s possible between people?
• Legacy: How can I create opportunities for others to unlock their own potential?

This shift changed everything. It means I no longer see my goals as endpoints, but as evolving experiments within this bigger inquiry. It means I can be ambitious without attachment, driven without stress, and completely immersed in what I’m doing while still open to unexpected growth.

The Journey Is the Point

It’s a cliché we’ve all heard — enjoy the journey, not the destination. But that’s exactly what The One Question is. It shifts the focus from chasing the next milestone to loving the process of discovery itself.

If I had continued sprinting toward elusive fixed goals, I might keep reaching them — but at what cost? Burned out, frustrated, and having missed everything along the way? Instead, by walking my own path, staying present, and embracing what unfolds, I’ve discovered a journey so rich with unexpected beauty that the destination no longer matters.

The beauty of living in the question is that the goal stops being the point. Instead, it’s about what you’re learning, who you’re becoming, and the depth of experiences and connections you build along the way. The fulfillment is in the exploration, not in reaching a final answer.

Trusting the Flow: The Less You Try, the More You Do

For so long, I thought success had to be hard. That grinding, stressing, and pushing were the only ways forward. When I first came across ideas like “the less you try, the more you do”, I couldn’t make sense of them.

How could anything get done if I wasn’t controlling it?

But looking back at my past startups, I can see how much pressure I put on myself — not delegating, controlling every financial decision, and pushing for growth at an unsustainable pace. That stress wasn’t making me more successful — it was holding me back.

Now, I’m operating from a different frequency — peace, trust, and flow — and everything is working better than ever. The right people came into my life. Opportunities started flowing to me. Instead of feeling like I had to force every move, I began attracting the things that aligned with where I was going. My startup, instead of feeling like a constant uphill battle, felt light, joyful, and expansive.

Presence and clarity make everything more efficient. When I stopped worrying about the next milestone and started focusing on how I was showing up right now, things naturally aligned.

And the biggest shift? I stopped doing things to prove something. I started doing things because they mattered to me.

I’m still ambitious. I’m still building. But now, I’m doing it from a place of ease, not stress.

Living in the Question

I want to share this perspective because I have a feeling that I’m not the only person with a similar tension — between striving and surrendering, between pushing forward and letting go.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to choose between success and peace, I hope this helps you see that you don’t. You don’t have to force an answer. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going.

You just have to commit to living in the question — and trust that the journey will take you exactly where you’re meant to be.

For me, it took 33 years to find my question. Some find it earlier, some later. But no matter when it happens, it transforms everything.

So I’ll leave you with this:
What is your question? What is the thing that, instead of solving, you want to spend your life exploring?

That’s where fulfillment, joy, and the best parts of life unfold.